Susan's Story

Hello everyone, I'm Susan,

alcoholic wow...10 yrs, and I'm the baby here tonight

Grateful to be here with all of you this evening

10 years ago, I came into these rooms by being tricked. I

shared somewhat at last nights midnight meeting how I came into

AA because a shrink I had called

couldn't see me for 2 weeks

What I didn't finish telling was that night, I made one of

those drunken midnight phone calls to a co- worker who was in the program.

You see, at that time, I was working two jobs, and God in

his wisdom, had planted a member of AA at each job. Needless

to say, they both knew I was one of

"them" and had apparently discussed 12th stepping me.

I remember one of the ways one of them had tried to get me

to come to a meeting was by telling me they were speaker at a

Saturday night meeting, and they sure

wanted me to come with them to give them encouragement.

Ha! I knew what she was up to, and NO...I didn't go .

Anyway, that night, in my drunken,

defeated state, I reached out, but not to the hand of AA, I was looking for sympathy. I didn't call the

female at my day job, instead I called the male at my night job. Of course he would understand me

better!!!!! Sad to say, but I guess I was looking for a quick fix. So many of us women come into these

rooms not trusting other women. I was definitely one of them

I remember telling him no one understood what I was going

through, and how I felt. Terminal Uniqueness at it's best! I cried and cried that night,and he told me

he had something to do the next evening, and after, He'd pick me up and we'd go to McDonald's to have

coffee and "talk"

That evening, he picked me up,

and said..."Oh, I forgot I have to chair the meeting tonight, you mind if we go there first ,it's

only an hour"......I was halfway lit, and nah. I didn't mind, so off we went...my first AA meeting

I don't remember much of that night, but I do remember one thing. This woman came up to me, and said..

"I don't think you've had enough to drink yet, you are still smiling". Well.....excuse me I thought, and that

was going to be the end of AA for me. I

did make one more meeting, and I don remember anything

of that one, as I was drunk again.

Fast forward a week, and I have

really hit my bottom. I am drunk, about 2:30 in the afternoon, my

kids are fixing to walk in from school

and I'm sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, crying, and begging God to help me

the phone rings, and it's my co-worker....he's

saying something....he had a "feeling" something told him to call me..... and he

acted on it.. .God was listening, and sent my Eskimo...when I was really ready."

As I think about it now, those are such sweet

memories.....God just waiting for me .....patient, loving,...there when I was ready.

That night, my 3rd. AA meeting, some one gave me a copy

of the Big Book. I sat up half the night reading that night, and was amazed that these people who wrote

this book, felt like I felt, thought like I thought! How could they know me so well? I wasn't even born

when they wrote it." I particularly

remember reading the part of the actor...if everyone would just do what they are supposed to..my life

would be so much better! . Oh how I could relate...it kept me so interested, I kept reading and reading,

and that night, I knew behind the shadow of a doubt, that I was an ALCOHOLIC!!!

It felt so good to put a name to what was wrong with me

AA not only has educated me on the disease, it has

given me my life back. It , through the steps has shown me who I am, not what I am.

I still have a long ways to go....being sober 10 years

sn just the beginning...I have a whole lot to learn, and I hope a little bit of something to offer.

When I was given my first Big Book,

my friend wrote in it Keep coming back

a couple of years ago, I had

the pleasure of having dinner with Smitty(Dr. Bob's son)

He wrote in my book, right under where my friend had wrote

--keep coming back,"

"Keep giving it away"

It still brings tears to my

eyes to think of how far on this journey I have come"

Life is so good these days."

I have wonderful friends"

I have a great relationship with my oldest daughter, who

didn't speak to me for 7 years. I'm in

a wonderful relationship I have had

the pleasure to meet some of you from this room."

As the last words on page 164 says"

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God"

Admit your faults to him and to your fellows"

Clear away the wreckage of your past Give freely of what you

find and join us We will be with you

in the fellowship and the spirit, and

you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the road of

Happy Destiny!"

May God bless you and keep you~~until then."

"thanks.....love you all.....g/a"