Hello everyone, my name is Mike and i am an alcoholic.
2192 days ago i was at my familys home for Christmas.
i was not feeling well at all, and as the day progressed
i felt worse.
By about 2:00 i needed a drink so bad that i made an
excuse and left. I went home and got drunk.
The next day i woke up and wanted a drink, BUT
i also did not want to drink, i was tired of it
i'd been tired of it for years, but that day it reached
the point where the desire to not drink outweighed
the desire for a drink.
it was close, and i'm not sure how it would have gone
if i'd had any more booze in the house or if the liquor
stores had been open.
Instead, i got online and typed "Alcoholics Anonymous"
into my browser. I found a room much like this one.
i was made to feel welcome even though i'm sure many
who were there that day could smell last nights booze on me.
i even see two people here today, who were in that
room back then.
i'd been going to face to face meetings for a few months then.
But that wasn't enough.
To this day i cannot say exactly why it was that day rather
than some other day.
i was not afraid that drinking would kill me, i knew it was going to.
I was just annoyed that it was taking so long. I wanted the misery
and pain to be over with.
That day i was told " You never have to drink again if you don't want to"
i may well have been told that before, but i don't recall it. That day i
heard it and more importantly, i believed it.
My life has become soooo much better in those 6 years.
I know today, that if i drink again i will be throwing it all
away.
I can drink again any time i want to, but because of this
program, i no longer want to. I like to think i'm a better person today
than i was 6 years ago. Though i know i'm still a long ways from perfect.
i'm an ongoing project that will never be finished. I thank AA and
the fellowship for the life i have today. i think i'll keep coming.