Mike's 5^th AA Birthday Share

Hello, my name is Mike and i am an alcoholic. Five years ago to the day i first found my way to an online AA room. At that time i had been attending f2f meetings for a few months and i was still drinking. When i first started going to f2f it was because a judge thought it was a good idea. I thought that not standing trial was a good idea, so i went. I did not believe i had a problem at that time. I got up every morning and went to work and did my job quite well, so how could i have a problem ? After going to f2f for a few months i was willing to admit that i had a problem and that i wanted to stop drinking. But even attending f2f i could not seem to get more than a few days, or at most a week sober. I woke up that morning after Christmas 5 years ago and i wanted a drink, but just a bit more than i wanted a drink, i wanted not to drink. The problem was, i did not know how to not drink. I came into a room much like this one that day, desperate. Emotionally my life was as bad as i could permit it to be and still allow myself to live. I was at the point where i was going to get sober or die. I came into that room about 12 hours past my ( i hope ) last drink and doubtless still reeking of cheap vodka. I was welcomed like the prodigal son. I met someone there who drew me out of my and said something to me that day that has stayed with me ever since. Now understand, for the last several years of my drinking i had lived in a shadow world of lies and distrust, a world of people who could only be trusted to do something if it was in their own self interest. A woman who went by Lulu in that room said to me " You never have to drink again if you don't want to " I don't know why, but i believed her. I near lived in that room for the next few months. The people there loaned me their strength when i had none. They gave me hope, just by being there and being sober day after day. I saw them and spent time there, i watched them stay sober through good times and bad. They showed me how the program works, not by lecturing or preaching, but by example. They were there for me when i could not get to f2f and they were there at 3:00 AM when i could not sleep and did not want to call anyone. I drank and drugged for almost 30 years before that day. That i am here and sober 5 years is proof that this program works ..... if you are willing to do the work. I have no doubt at all that i would be several years dead by now were it not for this program. Thank you for my life.