Mike's Story

Hi I am mike alcoholic Please bear with me I copied this share on a document earlier today because i'm a slow and lousy typer,,I don’t want to take to much time,as I want to hear the others share. I am glad to be here,I am glad you all are here also. We do this together! I was taught to share,on my aa birthdays,What it was like,What happened ,,And what it is like now. What it was like is kind of a blur,I don’t rightly remember if I learned how to walk or not before I started drinking. This was a blur because I never looked back on my life and how it all got started until more than 30 years later when I found AA. With a very deep searching and fearless moral inventory I do remember still being in diapers lying on the floor ,unable to walk,,my head spinning,,puking,,and remembering that I liked the feeling ,or not feeling anything maybe,but the affect of alcohol had me. When I was 5 years old my Mom got tired of my Dad coming home drunk,and beating her up,,so she left him,,I didn’t see him for 30 or so years Mom wasn’t an alcoholic ,so I had a hard time finding booze,When I could I drank,About 11 years old my drinking career really took off. I worked picking tomatoes and had my own money,,I also got introduced to drugs about that time,My arrest record started when I was 12 for having a hand gun and selling drugs….I could go on and on but the bottom line is I am just an alcoholic and drug addict that went thru a lot of hell,I guess I was what some call a functioning alcoholic,,,Everything I had it seems alcohol took from me,,My 3 wifes,,my freedom,,my jobs,,my military career,But most of all it took my sanity! So there I sat 33 years old,,made good money as I was a good crane operator,,never mind the more than 10 dui's I had because of my drinking,,I always I knew I was an alcoholic,but a very early age in my life I had set a standard,,I remember seeing the wino,s living under the bridges and eating out of garbage cans,,I had told myself(When I would buy them a bottle of wine for getting me one since I was underage)If I ever get that bad I will stop! Thank God (He) had other plans!I never drank before I went to work,,that was only because I couldn’t,,I was always the type of alcoholic that lost all control of consumption once I started. Of course like every good alcoholic,I could drink all night sleep a few hours and go to work,,But I knew I was loosing it bad this time,,On my 3 day weekend I would stop and pick up at least 1 gallon of booze and spend three days drinking ,passing out,,coming to…….. 1 night in a black out(Which of course was nothing new,I had been black out drinking my whole life) I just woke up my mobile home torn to pieces,,wife gone again! Thank God I had been to some AA meetings sometime before this,because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and even though you Holy rolling AA people were nothing like me,,some of the readings had stuck. We here it everyday…no human power…God could and would…I contemplated this while I was gonna have my last good drunk…..I prayed,,,I said God I really mean it this time,,I'm not locked and woke in jail and just saying this,,,I really mean it this time,when I wake up tomorrow I don’t want to drink but I need your power to help me…..I got sober for 3 years that time……..The first time I really turned it over,,that was about 15 years ago,,and my life has changed drastically,,I have gotten mad at God,,took my will back,Got away from you guys,,and drank in between ,,,In sobriety I have found my long last dad,,I take care of him today,,He has wet brain from this alcoholism,,I had a sister drink herself to death,,,I tell you this because its not a pretty sight and I don’t sugar coat things……..But for the Grace of God there goes I ,or Us if you are like me,,6 years ago on new years eve I had my last relapse,,,I was going through some self pity and pain,,I was in another relationship,,which i'm not good at! She left right before Christmas,,Nothing seemed to kill my pain,,My reservation I didn’t even know I had and my alcoholic mind picked up the moonshine,,and after about 2 years of sobriety and my body not being used to the alcohol,,well I drank a bunch of it………I was trying to show God something ,,but Instead he showed me something,,I couldn’t stop feeling the pain I was in,,my mind wouldn’t shut up and black out,,I was in south Carolina and it was 18 degrees out and I was freezing to death,,(The alcohol didn’t even make me think I was warm) My head wanted to spin,,I almost puked,,I was in a mild state of alcohol poisoning again,,,I had a baby goat I took to bed with me!! I wasn’t gonna let it freeze! When I woke up I was cold,,lonely ,,I had goat poop all over me,,,lol I looked to the sky and I said ok God you showed me! If this is what alcohol can do for me I don’t want it anymore! I have heard it takes what it takes in these rooms many times,,I think it took me taking my will back and drinking that night so God could show my stubborn and self centered self that Alcohol is never going to be my solution to any problem,,,I have not had a desire or want for a drink since that night! Today I am a very Grateful recovered ,but never cured alcoholic,We have our daily reprieve…I live a great life in Daytona beach,,I take care of my Dad,,My daughter is recently off of cocaine ,,,I no longer wake up and pray to God to help me stay sober,,but instead thank him for waking up sober! At 48 years old I am finally learning how to enjoy life! I am in many ways enjoying things in life I missed out on when I should have been doing,,I am like a fragile child in many ways,,I like to ride my bicycle,,go surfing,,go to the gym,,,Our lives are Gifts from God and we are his children,,,WE alcoholics need each other to help each other,,,Thank you for being part of my recovery today!